Watching the sequel of Tyler Perry’s film had me thinking for a long time, made me doubt that eternal love existed and think that married life is scary. I asked myself: why DO people get married?
Is it because it is necessary? Is it because of tradition? Family pressure? To have guiltless sex? Throw a big party and feel like P Diddy? Get a passport? Pay less taxes? Because he/she is rich?
All these reasons might be true, and I’m sure most of you have people around you that have mentioned marriage and these alibis in the same sentence. Some of you might even consider getting married for one or several of these reasons.
The eternal romantic in me believe that there are more reasons why in the 21st century, people still get married.
‘Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found. Such a union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding.
That the cold, Wikipedia –way of defining marriage.
When I thought about marriage as a child, for me it was something that was the norm. My parents were married and to me that was how things should be. My mum would receive flowers for Valentine’s, gifts for her birthdays, be cherished, loved and loving too! I always envisioned myself married not really thinking about the dress but more the gathering I would have and how I’d be the star. It didn’t matter with whom and I never even included the groom in the picture as it was all about me. I guess I dreamed of a wedding rather than a marriage, like most girls do.
Little did I know that marriage is hard work, a constant compromise and regular challenges, that’s why people need to get married for the right reasons.
But it doesn’t always happen that way. You might be pregnant and think it’s a disgrace out of wedlock, you might be scared to live a life of poverty and decided to sacrifice for your family by marrying someone you barely know, or might just be in love and think that the logical next step should be to get hitched.
Personally, I don’t think there are good or bad reasons as once you are married, no matter the reason you got married in the first place, you still have to make it work. Not for one day, a month a year, but ideally as long as you live.
So let's forget about all the bad reasons...
That doesn’t mean it will work, people change, they adapt, evolve and some things might come up and they might be unbearable. But that’s part of life and if your boat is being rocked, I don’t think you have to stick to it, but I think that you should at least try.
I believe that people are still getting married because the first time they saw each other there was a spark. That they understand, love and respect each other so much it feels like they need to scream it out loud on top of the earth, they want to celebrate their love intimately or in the presence of their family. And when people do that, it is called a wedding. So let’s forget about all the bad reasons why some people get married, and let’s focus on why we should be or are getting married.
With Love
Vanessa Bolosierx
